G’day mates and welcome to
The World Cup Preview
Wherein I go through each group and tell you what to expect in brief. In brief? In the best part of 2,600 words but look, that’s less than 100 words per team! It’s an easy read I promise! Or leave, whatever, I’m not your dad. Anyway, without further procrastination, let’s get into it.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with how these tournaments work, each team plays all the other teams in their group once; the two teams with the best records go through to single match knockout rounds – round of 16, quarter finals, semi finals and final. This time round, they’ve set up the brackets so that groups A, C, E and G are all on one side and the other groups are on the other – so we cannot get a group stage rematch in the final.
Group A: New Zealand, Norway, Philippines, Switzerland
Our first group is perhaps the most intriguing. Co-hosts New Zealand are a fairly young team from a country more familiar with the oval ball – their Rugby Union counterparts won their world cup at home last year while being firm underdogs though so can be an example for the footballers.
Norway, in contrast, are WWC royalty with one title and three other top 4 finishes, but the current team was unceremoniously punted out of the 2022 Euros at the group stage in a truly astonishing 8-0 loss to England. Caroline Graham Hansen, Ada Hegerberg and Guro Reiten are world class – but the rest of the squad has a lot to prove.
The Philippines are brand new at this level but the Asian Championships semi-finalists aren’t here just to make up the numbers – Aussie manager Alen Stajcic and star striker Sarina Bolden will be looking to cause a shock in a group with no truly unbeatable teams.
Switzerland are a proper dark horse – they’ve only been to the knockout stages of a major tournament once but the trio of Lia Wälti, Ramona Bachmann and Ana-Maria Crnogorcevic play for some of the best clubs in the world.
Prediction: Norway is the obvious group winner but their recent Euro implosion exposed them as the PSG men’s team of international women’s football. Switzerland and the Football Ferns to get out of this frying pan and into the fire of Japan and Spain.
Group B: Australia, Canada, Ireland, Nigeria
If Group A was intriguing, Group B is straight up terrifying. Australia are the host nation best equipped to win the World Cup in front of a home crowd. Sam Kerr is probably the best player in the world and a talented crop of youngsters including Ellie Carpenter and Katrina Gorry shone in a win over European champions England in April. I don’t want to get too ahead of myself here but heck it – this is the best chance an Australian team of any stripe will ever have of winning a football World Cup so GET AROUND THEM.
Canada is the other heavyweight in the group – Olympic gold at Tokyo in 2021 included knocking out the USA and Sweden. Veteran Christine Sinclair is football in Canada so this squad will be motivated to get their talisman to the podium.
Ireland are at their first WWC off the back of Amber Barrett’s winning goal and Courtney Brosnan’s penalty save against Scotland in the play-offs. They have some genuine class through the team but they’ve not been so lucky in this draw.
Nigeria boasts veteran talent with Onome Ebi traveling to her sixth WWC, Rasheedat Ajibade has exhilarating skill to match her blue hair and Asisat Oshaola is one of the best strikers in the world – she’s won two Champions League titles in three years with Barcelona. But currently it’s unclear if they are even going to be able to play their first game – the players are threatening a strike against their national football board over pay and conditions.
Prediction: How can you look past the mighty Matildas? Well, the colossal Canadians might force you to do so. Australia and Canada are the two with the strongest title aspirations but one of them will almost certainly have to venture into the Lionesses den in the round of 16 – expect the other to still be there to take on France or Brazil in the Quarter-Finals. This group is on the stacked side of the draw so temper expectations accordingly.
Group C: Costa Rica, Japan, Spain, Zambia
Proper World Cup group this. Costa Rica are back for a second go, having bowed out of the 2015 WWC in the group stage with creditable draws with Spain and South Korea. Their two key assets from that tournament are still there: Star player Rodriguez Cedeno scored their first ever WWC goal under manager Amelia Valverde, whose deep knowledge of the squad will help Costa Rica in their quest to eke out a few upsets.
Japan are aiming to add to their 2011 World Cup win with a young and energetic team. Their oldest player is also their star – Mina Tanaka is the complete striker and is gunning to add to her 24 international goals.
Spain only qualified for their first WWC in 2015 but are now among the favourites. The core of their team is made up of Barcelona players fresh off their second Champion’s League win in three years and of those, back-to-back winner of the Ballon d’Or Alexia Putellas is the clear superstar. Sadly, this is another team experiencing bad blood between the players and management – 15 players walked out of the squad last year and only a handful have been brought back to the fold.
Zambia are one of the stronger sides in Africa built off the 2021 launch of the national Women’s Super Division. Barbra Banda is the standout talent and the former professional boxer will look to score some knockout blows against more prestigious opposition, as she did in a 3-2 win over Germany in early July.
Prediction: Spain’s chaotic build-up will hopefully not prevent their world-class talent from shining through and Japan remain a preeminent force. They also have the advantage of playing the qualifiers from the weakest group in the next round, so both should be aiming for at least a quarter-final berth – but Japan in particular should be wary of Zambia’s threat and I reckon the African team could be a sneaky shout for a deep run.
Group D: China, Denmark, England, Haiti
It’s hard to call the second qualifier from Group D. China are the champions of Asia and have a much stronger history in international football than their men’s team, including a runner’s-up medal in 1999. Watch out for Wang Shuang and Zhang Linyan in the attacking midfield roles – both are absolute ballers.
Denmark have often been overshadowed by Norway and Sweden but in Pernille Harder have one of the top 5 best footballers in the world. This is their first chance to showcase their talent on this stage since 2007 – unluckily for them, squeezing out of this group earns them a showdown with either Canada or Australia.
England are the reigning champions of Europe, winners of the Finalissima over Brazil and they are here to complete the set. Sarina Wiegman came within a whisker of taking the 2019 edition back to the Netherlands, stopped only by a transcendentally good USA team; and the Lionesses are a cut above that Dutch edition.
Now, Haiti. To briefly editorialise, Haiti may be the most unjustly treated nation in modern history (it is, sadly, a very competitive category). That Haiti has a women’s team able to make it to this world cup is a triumph on its own. 19-year old superstar Corventina is the player to watch but honestly, make time to just enjoy seeing the only free nation built from a truly successful slave revolution in history standing proudly on the world stage.
Prediction: England to cruise through, China to pip Denmark to second. But Haiti will always be the champions of my heart.
Group E: Netherlands, Portugal, USA, Vietnam
Now this is a spicy meatball. Netherlands vs USA is a rematch of the 2019 final which the USA won 2-0 after a soft penalty set them on their way. The Orange Lionesses suffered a dip in the 2022 Euros but new manager Andries Jonker has them fitter and more tactically organised and midfield maestro Jill Roord is one of the best playmakers in the world.
Portugal are one of the up-and-comers of women’s international football. Kika Nazareth is their dynamic young gun but a team that finished bottom of their Euro 2022 group is likely going to have to settle for third here.
The USA are, you might have heard, a bit good at this. They have four world cup titles, including the last two, and four Olympic gold medals, all since 1991. They’re going for a three-peat here and honestly, I think they might just do it. Are they as good as they were in 2019? No – injuries, age and time have brought them back in line with other top nations. But like Real Madrid this team has the muscle memory of winning big tournaments that no other nation can even come close to matching; and they’ve been sorted into the much less competitive side of the draw. It’s all going to happen again isn’t it…
Vietnam are a classic plucky underdog. It’s their first time at a World Cup which they qualified for after several years of dominance in their south-east Asian sphere. Their reward for this outstanding performance? It’s likely to be getting gubbed 13-0 by the USA. Look, I try to be positive here and Vietnam are no clowns but it’s the USA and it’s the Netherlands. It will be a genuine triumph for any first time qualifier to avoid losing those two games by an aggregate score of less than 0-10 and I’ll be the happiest person in the world if they prove me wrong.
Prediction: No surprises expected here, though Portugal are unlikely to go quietly into that good night. The USA and Netherlands will qualify and, although Japan, Spain and Sweden shouldn’t be underestimated, will both be aiming to schedule a rematch in the semi-final. Once again, we face the terrifying question: can anyone stop these bloody Yanks?
Group F: Brazil, France, Jamaica, Panama
I read the names in this group and immediately astral projected back to 1998 when football was good, the world was simple and no bad things ever happened mostly because I didn’t really read the news as a small child. Where was I? Oh yeah.
Brazil are the most decorated team from South America and have Marta up top – the record goalscorer in all world cups, men’s and women’s. They gave England a real fright in the Finalissima earlier this year and should be aiming for at least a semi-final here, and given France showed them the exit door in this competition back in 2019, they’ll have more than enough incentive.
But France are hardly going to roll over for them. This team has flattered to disappoint in the last few international tournaments but the talent on display is outrageous. If Wendy Renard can harness them all to the same sled, watch out for Les Bleues. If she can’t, watch out for their burning clown car as it drives into a lake.
Jamaica shamefully disbanded their women’s team in 2008 and it wasn’t until 2014 that it was revived with the backing of Cedella Marley (yes, Marley as in Bob, daughter of). Now they’re one of the stronger teams in central America and with Bunny Shaw, have a truly world class talent.
Panama are yet another world cup debutant and hopes rest on number 10, Marta Cox. Realistically, they should be aiming to pip Jamaica for third but funny things happen when Brazil and France get too close in world cups.
Prediction: Jamaica provide some optimistic hope of an upset given both France and Brazil are known as much for their self-destructive tendencies as their dominant performances. But smart money is on two of the most iconic footballing nations getting through; and whoever dodges Germany in the next round will be optimistic about their potential route through two of *checks notes* hosts Australia, Olympic gold medalists Canada and Euro winners England. Ah. Well. Nevertheless.
Group G: Argentina, Italy, South Africa, Sweden
I’m gonna level with you – I keep forgetting this group exists which is a shame because there’s some strong narratives here. Argentina were the story of the last World Cup’s group stages by dragging Scotland out of the competition in a sort of mutually destructive death roll of a performance a la Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty. Are they any good? Genuinely do not know but if any group gives them a shot of getting out, it’s this one.
Italy should be reaping the benefits of increased investment in their Serie A Femenina competition and the deep run Roma made in the Champion’s League, but manager Milena Bertolini is in full bridge burning mode and several senior pros are sitting this one out. They still boast a talented squad but disappointed in last summer’s Euros.
South Africa therefore are feeling optimistic – they finally won the Women’s AFCON earlier this year and have a squad jam packed with talent. They may be ranked 54th in the world, but by the end of this group state, that should say a lot more about the ranking system than it does about Banyana Banyana.
Sweden are the last of our Nordic titans – they took silver in the Tokyo Olympics and normally would be a shoo-in for one of the title favourites but the manner of their exit from the 2022 Euros, brushed aside 4-0 by England, does leave a few lingering doubts. Can their injury doubts like star Kosovare Asllani get fit in time to finally get Sweden over the line to a major title?
Prediction: Another group with a few interesting permutations. Fundamentally, the two European sides probably have too much in the tank so Italy and Sweden will be favourites, but at this point who knows? South Africa won the most recent Women’s AFCON and should be a danger. My actual prediction though is it doesn’t matter – these teams are fighting for the right to get knocked out by one of the previous WWC finalists.
Group H: Colombia, Germany, Morocco, South Korea
Football is a simple game — 22 women chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, Germany always win. As true in women’s football as in men’s (yes, ok, I know it’s not actually true for either but do you want to write these? I’m 29 teams in at this point, let me have it), Die Nationalelf have a bulging title cabinet with two World Cups, eight European Championships and an Olympic gold medal, all since 1989. It took 120 minutes, a raucous home crowd and the most chaotic of goalmouth scrambles for England to finally overcome them in the Euros final in 2022 and you better believe that’s only going to make Alexandra Popp and co all the madder.
Colombia are a bit of a wildcard – their team is packed with young and exciting talent but none of it is exactly proven at the very top level so hold on to your hats – and your smelling salts as Ireland abandoned a warm-up game against Colombia this week due to it getting “overly physical”. “It’s not the sort of thing we want to see,” moan the pundits. Tune in and pass the popcorn, I say.
Morocco as a nation are coming off the high of a 4th placed finish in the men’s world cup and are the very first Arab nation to qualify for the women’s edition but it’s likely that this tournament debut is as far as they’ll get. Unlike poor Vietnam though, they’ve been popped into a fairly open group so keep an eye out for Ghizlane Chebbak as they attempt a great escape.
South Korea are a historically fairly strong team and came second in the most recent Asian Cup to China. With talent plying their trade at the top of the European club pyramid, the Taeguk Ladies will be quietly confident they can get to the knockout rounds but any further is likely to be beyond them.
Prediction: Germany. Wait, there’s two qualifiers from here? Erghhhhhhhhhhhhh fine. No idea. Morocco are the second best team in Africa, South Korea the second best in Asia and Colombia are everyone’s dark horse. Given how my dark horse predictions have gone recently (looking at you, Turkey men’s team) let’s play it safe and say South Korea to book a date with the fearsome French.
Conclusion
And that’s your lot! I’d genuinely forgotten how hard it is to write these for the first few rounds when all 32 teams are still involved. Bring on the round of 16 I say. But really, the groups are a lot of fun so stay tuned, watch as much morning football as you can stomach, and I’ll see you all after the first round of group games are complete!